Persuasive Essay
Dear Reader,
We are a group of three that have started a blog based on matter, and we are trying to get more viewers on our blog. Here are some suggestions why you or some of your other friends should check out our site, it’s an interesting topic, good for knowledge, and if you like science you can just subscribe and communicate with us about your interests.
The first reason you should check out our blog is because if you take a look at our links, watch our videos, see our outlines, other websites, and our power point, you might become interested in becoming a scientist when you grow up. Joseph, a fellow classmate says, ” I have looked at this website and I think it helped me learn more about science. I also think that this is a very kid friendly website, which helps a lot.”
Another reason you should visit our blog is because if you are having a bit of trouble in science, and you need to improve, again look at our links watch our videos, and look at our websites, you can learn a lot. There are also games on our website, which I have played, and there are many fun ways to learn!
The third reason you should visit our website is because if you like science, you can visit our blog and after you’re done looking at it you can comment and subscribe. If you like, you can leave a comment about what you think we did wrong, what needs improvement, and what you think we did good.
Again I am asking you to visit our blog more often. We just want to let you know that we update our blog almost every day so you don’t have to look at the same thing over and over again.
That’s why you should visit our website, or recommend it to other people.
This is a great improvement. Very good use of the persuasive format! Nicely organized. the last paragraph needs a little clarity and I think you could use some transition sentences, so let’s sit together to talk about these ideas. Nice start, great revisions. Keep up the good work!